I have a soft spot for small fluffy animals.
I fall for women that burn my stuff when I leave them.
Porn Is boring. My life is not.
Conan hates it when people talk about themselves in the third person.
I have never seen a ninja...neither have you...no one has.ever.
I have broken more bones than you have had birthdays.
Making love is for frenchmen and old people. I'm Italian. Italians fuck.
I hope to die while being eaten by a lion, because then I'd at least get to punch a lion before I die.
Stretchpants are the downfall of our society.
I am a fan of home surgery involving a bubble bath, strong whiskey, and lots of swear words.
My woman is a sexual predator.
I had my midlife crisis at 15.
Women rule the world. Men are only here to move furniture and open jars.
Sex should involve bruises and limping the next day.
I drink so much coffee I can see around corners.
Scars on women are hot. Scars I leave are hotter.
Men should wear nice suits and drink expensive gin. These hipster douchebag fucks in their too tight pants and ironic trucker hats will be the first against the wall.
My woman is a lesbian, and she is turned on by tentacle porn. She only puts up with me because I'm a good cook.
In college I majored in philosophy and checking the mail in the morning to find out where you were.
Aristotle was an idiot. The Simpsons is genius.
I hope to someday own a monkey and a jetpack.
Everything here is the product of sweat and blood and copyright addictedimage. Do NOT use without permission. I know people that will have you dissapeared.
Current Residence: San Francisco
Favourite photographer: Photographers are all assholes.
Shell of choice: Nautilus
Skin of choice: Torn. Bleeding. Bruised.
Favourite cartoon character: DarkSyren, and Tank Girl
Personal Quote: It only hurts till it's numb.